When I was a kid I remember loving certain articles of clothing.
I can vividly recall specific things that made me feel so good when I would wear them. I can still picture some of them in my mind: tan corduroy pants, a blue flower dress, my Mickey mouse T-shirt, a green skirt with buttons all the way down the front, a floor lengthy skirt with oriental looking flowers on it, and we can’t forget all the tye-dyed clothes. Pretty much all of those were my favorite.
When I was much younger, I remember loving a special rainbow dress. I’m pretty sure I wore it all the time. It felt so fun to run and spin in. The fabric would swoosh out in a huge circle when I would twirl. It just felt good to wear. And it made me feel good when I would wear it.
Or on those cooler summer days, I used to love wearing shorts with a sweatshirt. My legs would be a little chilly but it would be balanced out by having a large snuggly sweatshirt.
And then I grew up.
I can’t remember the last time I’ve worn something just because I like the way it feels on me. Most of the time I’m just trying to find something in my closet that flatters me–or at least hides the parts I want hidden. When I shop I’m too stingy economical to buy regular priced clothes, so I’m constantly shopping off the clearance racks.
I long for the day I put on an outfit and FEEL good in it again. I long to find the joy in just enjoying how it feels. When I looked back at my list of favorite clothes I was struck by how many of those things were dresses or skirts. I want to wear those again!
So, I’m on a mission. A mission to lose some weight, and start looking for clothes that I actually love. To start making a conscious effort to think about what I want to wear, not just what I have to wear. I know that 90% of my struggle is linked with weight, but there is a small percentage that is purging the clothes that don’t make me feel good and stop buying items that I don’t love. This will take me a while, I know. But it’s time to start.
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